Tag Archives: self love

Shake off Comparison-itis

For as long as I can remember I have compared myself to others as a basis for how good I was. How much better I was than someone else or how much I needed to change to be as good. I remember feeling so friggin special bragging to my friends in primary school that I had had pizza for dinner, and then getting suspicious and nasty when my friend claimed that she had had pizza for dinner as well. I tried to prove that she was a liar and had made it up, because if she was just as special as me then I wasn’t special at all. And if I wasn’t special then why would the other kids want to be friends with me. Time to shake off comparison-itis…

I still don’t know where this insecurity came from and throughout my life it has manifested in different ways. As a teenager I had anxiety and would refuse to go to school allot. Seriously Allot. I guess I felt like it was a way of escaping and also a way of getting attention on my own terms.

It became a habit.

And as a ‘grown up’ I held on to the need to compare myself to others and rate them as being better or worse than me. A shit fight between my self-esteem and my ego if you will.

You see our egos love to talk shit about us and about others, it can be a real jerk…

Even as I write this my ego is telling me that I sound cray cray like Kanye with voices in my head.

Earlier this year I went and saw Gabby Bernstien talk in Sydney. It was phenomenal. What I felt in that room was love, compassion and inspiration as soon as the day began and what can only be described as a ‘heart cracked open’ experience. For those who don’t know who Gabby is – get on it! She’s all about helping you make miracles baby.

I am a big advocate for self-love. It’s something I have been practicing for a little while now and as I learnt to treat myself better I realized that my ego was holding onto the fears around not being enough that fit me oh so well. In that love soaked room with Gabby it became very clear to me that my own self doubt was the thing pulling me down and it had to go. But it’s not as though you can just turn it off.

There is no off switch for the ego. But there is a workaround.

Become a non judgemental witness. See if you can watch what is going on, perhaps a co-worker stepped on your toes and you are feeling insecure, or maybe someone cut you off in traffic and you are feeling angry and entitled or maybe even you are worried about a big event coming up and that you will look silly in front of everyone. Maybe have a little chuckle at the silliness of the situation you might have created in your mind and then, choose again.

You are responsible for how you feel in this moment. So choose again, and this time choose from a loving perspective.

I am not my lack mentality. Kindness created me kind. Peace begins with me.

Three of my favourite affirmations taken from Gabby’s book “May Cause Miracles” based on the teachings from A Course in Miracles.

Maybe one of these resonates with you?

I want you to know that you are so much more than what that voice in your head tells you.

Love ,

Jodie xx

Falling down the Health and Wellness Rabbit hole

I remember when I first started changing my lifestyle and taking charge of my health. I had read Sarah Wilsons I quit sugar e-book and was ready to overhaul my entire life. I was pretty gun-hoe about it all really. I started devouring health blogs and took almost every health increasing tip on board as something to work into my day. I was so super determined to be like these girls who so made healthy eating look so friggin good and so effortlessly easy. I was well and truly falling down the Health and Wellness Rabbit hole… with no torch to light the way.

All I needed to do was:

  • Drink more water
  • Drink lemon water in the mornings
  • Make sure my water is filtered
  • Swish coconut oil around in my mouth for 10 minutes
  • Do yoga
  • Go running (or move in some way)
  • Meditate
  • Get more exercise
  • Stop taking the pill
  • Have breakfast worthy of Instagram
  • Eat organic food
  • Eat less meat
  • Eat more veggies
  • Activate my nuts
  • Avoid all sugar
  • Cut out gluten
  • Avoid dairy
  • Get rid of anything with chemicals
  • Dry brush my skin
  • Lather up in coconut oil
  • Make some raw cacao desserts
  • Navigate the health food store and its obscure ingredients
  • Drink less coffee
  • Drink straight from a coconut
  • Learn how to pronounce Acai
  • Drink more herbal tea
  • Get more sleep

Every. Single. Day.

Easy peasy right? pfft!

It didn’t take long at all for me to realise that I was in over my head and then all of a sudden I felt like a big fat failure. I remember feeling like I had a shiny beacon on my head whenever I ventured into a health food store that read “I’m new here and I don’t belong”, as though they could tell by looking at me that I didn’t know what cacao was. How was I going to be a healthy goddess if I couldn’t achieve all of these things?

The secret was that I didn’t need to. Good health is a journey. It is constantly changing and evolving and there is no “one size fits all” option. Everyone is different and our bodies need different things at different times.

I decided to pick a couple of things that felt achievable for me and stick with those until I was ready to explore more. Once let go of the pressure to be perfect and embraced what worked for me it got a whole lot easier. For me that meant drinking more water and eating less sugar. What a perfect place to begin.

I can see how doing a lifestyle overhaul may be appealing, that “we want results and we want them now” mentalilty is built into so much of what we do and it’s easy to be inspired by hotties on Instagram and to want to change everything all at once. But the reality is that for most people that kind of overhaul is both stressful and unsustainable. It’s not realistic for most people and so often when we “fail” or give in we end up feeling shitty for not meeting out own unrealistic expectations.

Letting go of old habits that are no longer serving us and forming new habits is something we must learn over time. Small changes create lasting results.

I still have to remind myself when I see someone “better” than me that I am exactly where I need to be right now (and also that comparing myself to others is just my egos way of making me feel shitty, but that’s a blog for another time). Wherever you are on your journey, I want you to know that it is the perfect place. Maybe you are just thinking about starting, or you speak the language of fermented veggies and raw desserts fluently – just know that it is the perfect place for you right now. With Instagram and facey loaded with hotties and health nerds right at our fingertips it’s so easy to compare ourselves and to feel like you aren’t as good as everyone else, but remember that the person you are comparing to probably started in a similar place to you and is just further down the road. Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle!

If you have been dabbling in getting healthier or are wanting to make a change then I would really like to encourage you to start with 1 or 2 little changes. Stay curious and be open to try new things but know that you don’t have to do it all at once. Over time these new changes become second nature and you will start to do them without even noticing.

How does that sound?

Jodie xx

Don’t trust your tired self

You know how little kids go past bed time into  their tired zone and they suddenly start going a bit feral and manic? That’s me… Being over tired seriously turns me into a crazy person. For me It’s as though the dark circles forming under my eyes are storm clouds rolling in, only there is no weatherman to predict whether it will be a sun shower or a hail storm.

Just the other day I was driving to the beach and I spotted one of those big lit up signs that the council puts out near road works that said “Don’t trust your tired self…. Stop revive survive”.


Don’t Trust Your Tired Self!


 

Of course you cant! Earlier in the week I put on a spectacular show right before bed time where I used every trick in my book to get attention and validation from my husband. It started with a rant about something that happened that day and quickly turned into a pity party where I was the only RSVP. Basically, “tell me im pretty and wonderful and amazing and I will let you go to sleep without crying on your pillow.” The next morning I was still tired because I stayed up later than normal being needy and I headed straight to the café at work for a muffin to make myself feel better…. #facepalm

Lets elaborate and look at a few reasons why you cant be trusted when you are tired.

Firstly, you make poor food choices as demonstrated by my emotional crutch flavoured muffin. You want that sugary energy hit to get you through the morning and are too tired to bother with preparing something that you know is going to be better for you. Then BAM! You start a second cycle of tired moodiness combined with a sugar crash.

Then you snap at the ones you love because they didn’t miraculously read your mind and know that you were about to lose your shit if they happened to take 5 seconds too long in the bathroom. Or they neglect to shower you in enough love, affection and compliments. Sheesh, how dare they…

But worst of all, you cannot, repeat CAN NOT trust what happens inside your mind. You know that voice that tells you that you aren’t good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, just not enough in general? The one you work so hard to prove is wrong. (Just so we are clear – that voice IS wrong!!)
That voice loves to visit when you are tired because many of us, when tired, just don’t have the energy to tell it where to go.

It sneaks up on you and suddenly you are plagued with insecurities and irrational thoughts and if you are anything like me then you are ready to have an epic meltdown. This may come as a surprise to you but my man friend has copped many a melt down from an over-tired Jodie…

The solution seems pretty logical – get more sleep – but unfortunately getting enough rest is not always within our control. Maybe you just haven’t slept right and are feeling a little touchy. Maybe its been ridiculously hot and now you are hot and bothered. Or maybe you have little cherubs who like to climb into your bed at night and kick you in the back. I have a cat who likes to claw me in the middle of the night in the soft bits of skin near my armpits, or in my side. Bless…

So unfortunately for those people you are doomed to live moody lives…. Nah! Not even!

What can you do? Recognise

Recognise that you are allowed to be tired. You dont have to be 100% all the time.

Recognise that you are tired and maybe get to bed a little earlier.

Recognise that you function better with tasty nutritious food and make the effort to find it.

Recognise that you might need some space. Take 5 and close your eyes, take some deep breaths and maybe give your body a gentle stretch.

Recognise that you are possibly being unreasonable and unless you are actually going to pee your pants in the next 5 seconds, then your family member can take the extra time in the bathroom.

Recognise that the voice in your head that is bringing you down is only as powerful as you allow it to be.

Recognise and repeat – “I am enough, I am SO enough, its incredible how enough I am!”

How do you cope when you feel an over tired tanty coming on? surely I’m not the only one that does it… or am I?

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